For when your mind and your ovaries are not in agreement.
Featuring: 5 Tips for Curbing Your Relentless Baby Fever
Lately I have been faced with a life choice. To have kids now, or to have kids later. My ladymones are pulling me in one direction, as my mind is shouting no!
Having a plan, and the discipline to stick with it, had always been easy for me to handle. I decided when I was a sophomore in high school that I wanted to graduate in the “Top Ten” of my class, therefore I made sure to earn straight A’s and took advance courses every semester until graduation. I decided that I wanted to study abroad at Harlaxton Manor, my alma mater’s British campus, so even when I grew homesick Freshman year and filled out transfer applications, I never sent them in. I also decided I would compete in my university’s Bike Race competition before graduating, so I lost the institutionalized “Freshman 15”, got into shape, and actually earned the title of MVP my senior year – something I never thought I would be able to earn in any athletic endeavor. I never had any problems achieving the goals I had made and seeing through any plan I had set forth. Then a curveball was pitched.
We learned that my fiancé would be stationed in Germany. I had two options – continue with my plan to score a job at St. John’s Providence in Detroit and pay my way through graduate school so that I could become a nursing professor before the age of 26, or throw caution to the wind and move to Germany to be with my husband as soon as we got married.
Can you guess which option I picked?
Of course I wanted to be with my husband, and I have never regretted putting nursing on hold. However, ever since I took a detour from one of my plans, it has been increasingly more difficult for me to be disciplined. Something has been getting in the way. What is that something, you ask? It’s mother f*ing nature and her need to send my hormones into a whirlwind.
Every time I see a baby out in public, I am compelled to say hi and make googah eyes at the little wonder.
Every time I learn that a couple on Fixer Upper is pregnant, I involuntarily start to cry. Seriously. I make the ugly crying face and tear up. Just because a COMPLETE STRANGER on a television show is pregnant.
I even have been finding myself making secret boards on Pinterest and Etsy devoted to my baby fever. Note that I said secret. I keep them all a secret. I am too ashamed with my obsession to let my followers see how far this craziness has gone.
I am not knocking any of my friends who have chosen to have children at a young age. I applaud you! And I want to spoil your kids and play hide-and-seek and build snowmen with them all. For me though, there are three main reasons why I would like to wait a few years.
1) How many 22-year-olds get to live in Europe for three years? It is a blessing that we have been given this opportunity and we want to make it into an adventure. While it is possible to travel with a baby, it is much easier to travel without one. It is already so much for us to manage trying to travel with a dog, I could not imagine being ready to add an infant to the program.
2) With all of my secret board madness, I have naturally discovered many adorable (and pricey) things I would like to do for and with my children. It would be nice to have some money set aside specifically for baby-related expenses and future vacations to Disneyland.
3) Most importantly, I would really like to already have a nursing job before I get pregnant. For I fear that I may never work in my field if I do not.
So this one is for all of you ladies that are theoretically ready to start a family but realistically definitely are not. All of you that find yourselves planning for a baby before one is even on the way. All of you that have your own three reasons, but mother nature just does not care.
5 TIPS FOR CURBING YOUR RELENTLESS BABY FEVER
Allow Yourself to Succumb
WARNING! Succumbing to your baby fever is not for everyone. If the simple reason why you are not trying to have children yet is because your spouse is not ready, I suggest reading Liz Neiman’s How To Conquer Your Raging Baby Fever, which is a guide on how to avoid all things baby. If your spouse is not ready for children but all you do is let your baby fever run rampant, tension is bound to unfold.
HOWEVER, if you are like me and your spouse will be ready when you make the call, then it may be okay to succumb to the fever a little. The reason I suggest succumbing is not because I think it is a good idea to be talking about babies day in and day out. Instead, it is the classic want-what-you-can’t-have scenario. Because I know that I can decide when I would like to start having children, allowing myself to peruse baby-related Pinterest boards, DIY projects and articles has helped me get over the fever. I can tell that the fever has begun to curb, and I believe it is because I am starting to wear myself out with all of the baby thoughts. I know that I am not actually ready to have children, so allowing myself to look at baby stuff has helped me be okay with holding off for a while.
Set a Goal to Achieve First
Maybe you want to reach a certain level in your career. Maybe you want to maintain a healthy and fit lifestyle. Maybe you want to adopt a little furbaby. Set a goal that you would like to achieve before you get pregnant. It will help you to allocate your time and focus on something other than your unborn children.
Plan a Vacation
Ever since we put the deposit down on a cruise for next summer, it has become much easier to harness the fever. We are looking forward to this vacation, but having a child before its arrival would cause us to have to cancel the adventure. Surely it is still possible to travel with children, but cruising with a newborn? No thanks. Nevertheless, planning a getaway that you do not want to miss out on will only get you so far – pregnancy may not keep you from traveling, therefore this technique should only be used for a short-term delay.
Start a Savings Plan
Children are expensive. Cribs. Diapers. Car seats. Strollers. Bills. If you are considering having children soon, I suggest to start saving money specifically for baby-related expenses. But isn’t that what the baby shower is for? Okay, sure many of us will have a baby shower thrown for us before our first child, and while our family and friends’ support will help a lot, it is still not going to cover all of the expenses. Not to mention if you are attached to the Wonderful World of Disney like I am and know you are going to want to provide your child with the same enchanting childhood that you had, a piggy bank better be bursting with the key to mouse ears, monorail rides, and princess autographs. Every time I think about having a child I just see a flash of dollar signs – dollar signs that I do not have set aside.
This is imperative. If you know you do not want a child soon, use birth control! If taking a pill every day is not for you, there are plenty of other just as effective, low-maintenance options. Learn about the menstrual cycle. I did not fully understand the menstrual cycle and ovulation until I was in nursing school, but I think it is something that everyone – both women AND men – should be educated on. If you understand the menstrual cycle then you will understand ovulation, and for those of you who do not want to actually “be on” birth control, it is key that you understand ovulation. Furthermore, make sure you have condoms nearby at all times – and actually be strict about using them! If you truly do not want a child, the last thing you need is to be in the mood, ovulating, and without protection.
Lastly, be so excited when it does happen!
I recently met a woman who unexpectedly got pregnant very quickly after getting married. She expressed that while it was unplanned, she is very happy that it happened when it did. She explained that they could have always had a reason for waiting, so if it did not happen by surprise it may not have happened for many years. I appreciated her outlook on the matter, and have certainly adopted her perspective. There will always be a reason to wait. Waiting to reach a certain age. Waiting for a promotion. Waiting to find that perfect home. There will be a time when you may have countless reasons why you could wait, but you simply do not want to anymore and that is okay! Life will always work itself out and you should do what makes you happy – do not worry about what you think society expects of you.
XX Project Julianna